02.01.06
(written 02.02.06--9:24 a.m.)

first morning pee at five minutes to seven
i grab some ice water from the orange powerade from the fridge
and get into bed
in time to turn on the today show
for ann curry's news report,
ending my night's sleep at four hours
just so i can see ann curry
and then flip back to her every half hour
and google image search her
and then remain upon her
during the nine o'clock hour
as she gets to do her own stories then,
committing myself to an afternoon nap
for the privilege of a morning with ann.

02.02.06
(written 02.04.06--12:45 a.m.)

the best thing about
the new season of survivor
is that they've broken the people
into tribes based upon age and gender
so now there is one tribe
called "young women,"
no need to see where they're hiding
it's a good thing.

02.03.06
(written 02.04.06--12:46 a.m.)

(sing)

i'm eating my sandwich
you walk right past me
so cutely beautiful
i can't wait until you pass me
again, subway girl
i think i can love you
subway girl
i think you're the one
for me

i hear you order your sandwich
they ask you what you what on it
"pickles and sweet peppers,
and hot mustard, too."
subway girl,
i thought that i could love you
subway girl
i thought that you were the one
for me.

02.04.06
(written 02.08.06--8:41 p.m.)

my parents lay under the covers
and i lay over the covers between them
we watch the directory channel
and decide to watch the american president is on
i mention to my parents'
how aaron sorkin
who wrote and created the west wing
had written the west wing
and that's why so many west wing actors were in the movie
me pointing out all the bit players.
a few minutes before midnight my cell phone rings
it's my big sister saying
"did you ever notice how many people from the west wing
are in the american president."

02.05.06
(written 02.08.06--8:51 p.m.)

another super bowl with my dad
and my mom's off seeing carmen the opera,
dad's never been a talker
though he's a good responder
when i talk about the latest gossip column items
the commercials during the game
(we both like that one at the beginning
where an employee hid beer bottles
everywhere in his office,
and when he and the boss entered the office
it was like lord of the flies in there,
if lord of the flies consisted of
people destroying an office
to find beer)
and us going from salsa and tortilla chips
to onion dip and waffle pretzels and lay's chips

02.06.06
(written 02.08.06--9:09 p.m.)

crystal light pink lemonade
skating with celebrities
debbie gibson lost last week
so i don't care so much no more.

02.07.06
(written 02.08.06--9:15 p.m.)

if it weren't for ims
and the occasional phone call
where would risa and i be
so last fall
i said let's make a monthly
date on or about the 20th
our birthday
and we did it for two months in a row
and now we've missed two months
a third is approaching
but today we im'd
and she came over for dinner
bought me chinese for my old birthday
and we talked over the tv,
next time i think i'll put on some cds.

02.08.06
(written 02.09.06--12:45 p.m.)

it's this weird sense of tense glee
i feel everytime
when i see my main phone sex friend online
will this be when i give her a call
or will this be like the most times when not
and tonight it is one of those most times when not
with a promise of maybe tomorrow
but in the world of the unknown
the promises, well

02.09.06
(written 02.11.06--5:26 p.m.)

now i’m crying at boy meets world
it’s w/special guest fred savage
and he’s playing a professor
trying to hookup w/topanga
his real-life brother ben’s girlfriend on the show

02.10.06
(written 02.11.06--5:40 p.m.)

i’m all out of lithium
but I don’t feel like leaving my apartment today
and I don’t wanna see if my roommate will get it
and I don’t wanna call and see if they deliver
my blood it is ok full enough

02.11.06--5:50 p.m.

i just found out
scott baio dated nicole eggert
and immediately went to imdb
to see how much older he had to be
’cause on charles in charge he was the charles who was in charge
and nicole played one of the kids who he watched
and i kept thinking that baio
notorious dater
of pamela anderson, heather locklear, and more,
must have been scouting nicole eggert
while he played the guy who was in charge of her
while he was 26 and she was 15,
but it was then that i realized that we all do the very same thing
when we see pretty young girls and boys
so i guess what i’m saying
is that scott baio
has been leading a pretty good life.

02.12.06--10:16 p.m.

today's peter horton day
it seems
the guy who was gary on thirtysomething
15 years ago when
the show was still on
i wrote this real long five-part poem
about wanting to be gary from thirtysomething
and so this morning on
the history channel
the 1981 movie
"miracle on ice"
about the gold-medal winning u.s. hockey squad
and there with a blond prince valiant haircut
is a young peter horton in a u.s.a. jersey
portraying the player jack o'callahan.
now tonight watching "grey's anatomy"
part two of the post super bowl episode
i'm watching the credits
cause i watch credits
and the director his name is
peter horton.

02.13.06
(written 02.14.06-1:13 a.m.)

dorothy hamill 30 yrs ago today
pink dress her mother made her
with the silver sequins round her neck
on the cover of the next week's sports illustrated
was a smiling, toothless philadelphia flyer bobby clarke
w/dorothy hamill inside
on the medal stand 30 yrs ago today
she giggled picking up and looking at her gold
i got her autograph sent to me cause of my fan letter
a black and white long picture of her at those innsbruck games
when we moved from flatbush i lost it

02.14.06
(written 02.15.06-3:05 p.m.)

i thought for a second today
probably when i im'd risa a first part of an old poem
which goes:

"through twelve adult Valentine's Days I've had a lover five times,
a .417 average if love were baseball.
I'd've been the first.400 hitter since Ted Williams hit .406 in 1941.
But the last time up I went down swinging."

how it's been 11 years since i've had a valentine,
i mean not in some, geez,
it's been 11 years since i've had a valentine way,
but, it has,

and how now my average is down to .227.

02.15.06
(written 02.17.06-5:41 p.m.)

my sis has to be at nyu hospital
tomorrow at 6:45 a.m.
and there will be people there
her husband and daughter,
and my parents, too,
but i'd like to be there,
early as i can,
but without a job i don't get up early anymore
(except to pee, then back to bed)
but i woke up at about 11
and keep watching tv
from 2-4 a.m. there's a nash bridges followed by the district on usa
it seems like i'll see her when she's out of surgery.

02.16.06
(written 02.17.06-5:54 p.m.)

been checking their website for weeks
to see if the mets have announced their promotion dates yet,
see i want to sell off
some of my sunday plan tickets
because there are 13 games
and i never go to them all.
but i don't want to sell any tickets
until i know what they're giving away that day,
and so today on the website
they finally announced all the promotion dates.
i looked at the list of sunday games
and what they were giving away,
then i typed up a list of all the games,
figure i'll keep one game a month for starters
plus opening day
that'll make seven for me
and seven to sell.
so i email jordan the list of tickets for sale,
since he's bought so many from me the past two seasons
and a few hours later
mail from mets
finally word on jewish heritage day,
means an email revision to jordan to do.

02.17.06
(written 02.18.06-11:37 p.m.)

when my dad and i
worked for my brother's auto glass shop
we had a 68-mile drive each way

we'd listen to wcbs news radio 88
and hear versions of the same story
every day

and throughout the newscast
i'd say to my dad
"dad you must have raised me right,
because i couldn't even think of doing that."

and i was thinking about that
after hearing what this person i used to know did,
"how could you even think of doing that."

02.18.06
(written 02.20.06-1:57 a.m.)

(sing)

don't keep telling me when to call
when you aren't there anyway
every excuse i don't believe
in the frequency.

02.19.06
(written 02.21.06-6:49 p.m.)

(sing)

please stop calling
i don't wanna talk
to you
i don't wanna talk

it's not that i don't love you
and know that you love me too
it's just that i can't take how you're always right
always right, always right,
i just can't take how you're always right

02.20.06
(written 02.21.06-6:55 p.m.)

(sing)

i answered the phone
though i knew it was you
answered so you wouldn't call
for awhile

and you yelled at me
and said i was wrong
hearing you sing
the same old song

02.21.06
(written 02.23.06-12:23 p.m.)

(sing)

64 ounces of love
64 ounces of liquid gold
64 ounces go slow into me
64 ounces go diabetes

02.22.06
(written 02.23.06-1:06 p.m.)

(sing)

i calculated all day yesterday
how to give him back all of his cash
if he decides to say no now
if he decides to say no

with all of my math and my resources
i still fell far too short
there's not a way to do it
without my parents
who don't really have it
but can find it somewhere
i hope.

but today he came over
and we talked about it
and we set each other at ease
now we’ll ’til the day
the last obstacle
hopefully it will be okay.

02.23.06
(written 02.25.06-10:39 p.m.)

yesterday’s judging amy
between the bars by elliott smith
today’s judging amy
wise up by aimee mann

02.24.06
(written 02.25.06-10:41 p.m.)

if coyote shivers
was in my apartment
he'd be singing his song
sugar high
because i just went shopping
and i bought a lot of liquid
64 oz of apple juice,
64 oz of grapefruit juice,
4-32 oz powerades, two orange and two red,
and like three pounds of grapes
all of the liquid done before i sleep

02.25.06
(written 02.25.06-10:47 p.m.)

the infection i had in my hands last year
went away with the cream the doctor gave me
and two weeks ago it came back
and i looked like i had leprosy
and the cream wasn't working this time
and i was scaley and my hands were crisp
and then all of a sudden today
i started to notice that my skin was shedding
and this new layer was so damn soft
i reached my pointer into the gaps and kept touching.

02.26.06
(written 03.01.06-2:45 a.m.)

last night of the olympics
and atfer two weeks it can all
return to normal
no more avoiding sports and news websites
because nbc showed the games on tape delay
i had a window each night
from the time nbc went off the air at 11:30 or 12,
until around 6 a.m.
when i could read and see whatever i wanted
without spoiling the tape delay coverage
but now it's over
return to normal.

02.27.06
(written 03.01.06-2:56 a.m.)

52 years ago today my parents got married.
if i got married today
i'd have to live to be 81
to equal them
81

02.28.06
(written 03.01.06-2:57 a.m.)

my sleep ian't sleeping
i'm busy with last minutes
for the show and roommate go and roommate hi
i don't even have tine for a nap
i can't tell you much i want a nap